The Lonely Life of the Doctor
by jackalope21
Summary: How many times did he have to sit there and watch the people he knew, the people he considered friends die? How many times did he wait at their bedside as they faded, or hold them while they withered on the battlefield only to see them again and have to act like everything was fine? How many times can the man with a thousand faces and lifetimes have to fake his smile?


Who?

The End:

She lay resting in her vast bed. She was tired, drawn and simply waiting. She was waiting for the man that promised he'd be there that day. And he always kept his promises.

Her children stood around her, their heads down with tears brimming in their eyes. Her husband, how she loved him, was already gone decades prior. But she held on. She waited for him to come.

A familiar whirring filled the air in the large bedchamber. Those with their heads down in respect looked up to see a blue box pulsing into their reality. It took only seconds before it had turned entirely corporeal, no longer dancing between the layers of time and space. A smile touched her lips.

"He's back." She whispered softly, her voice barely capable of much more.

The doors of the box opened and a man emerged. He smiled weakly, the grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he looked at the old woman propped up in the bed surrounded by loved ones.

He stepped forward, the rubber souls of his red sneakers barely making a sound against the marble. He stood at the base of the bed, his hands in his pockets and the smile turned genuine. He bowed.

"You're Majesty."

"Doctor," she sighed, the adoration thick in her voice. "I've waited a very long time."

He nodded gently. A man approached him and held out his hands. The Doctor knew he simply wanted the coat and obliged, sliding his arms through the brown fabric and laying the long trench over the man's arms. The servant bowed respectfully and left to stand in the corner of the room.

No one remarked about the blue box or the man that had come from within. They'd heard the stories from generations. It was an impressive task, touching the lives of so many of the enduring species, but in the stories they knew who he was and why he was there.

"Let's leave them." A tall man to the left replied finally in the silent room.

He bore the same five dots on his forehead as the Doctor had seen the woman in the bed once don. He was next in line, the woman's eldest son and soon to be heir. The Doctor nodded respectfully and watched as the large young man led his siblings out of the room. When the door was closed behind him, the Doctor turned his attention back to the woman in the bed.

"It took you long enough to get here." She finally said. "Did you hit traffic?"

The Doctor laughed before he could stop himself as he approached her side of the bed. The old woman smiled and laughed herself though it was labored and difficult.

"You always were a bit cheeky Ayonia." Doctor smiled, sitting beside the aged woman. "Glad to see it hasn't changed."

"Perhaps the only thing." She said, taking his hand in hers. "You are my oldest and one of my dearest friends, but seeing you, _this_ you, it feels like only yesterday."

"Funny thing about time travel," he smiled. "Everything's a bit wibbly wobbly."

"Ah yes," she nodded. "That timey-wimey thing."

Again they shared a laugh but it only lasted moment. Both knew what it meant, him being there, and both knew what was coming.

"So, how long?" Ayonia asked, squeezing his hand gently and glad she felt him return the force.

"When the sun sets completely." He told her sadly.

Ayonia's eyes traveled to the large glass panes to her right and saw the sun beginning to set. She took a breath and sighed again, her gaze shifting to the young man at her side. She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb endearingly, sure to keep her talon from slicing through his delicate skin.

"I've gotten so very old." She said. "And how I hate it."

Doctor chuckled lightly.

"Well come on, not so bad." He offered. "You're still a young woman, a spry little thing."

She laughed again and shook her head while he smiled.

"Flatterer Doctor, always and forever. You know full well I am nearer a six digit age than anything."

"Nah," he scoffed. "Don't look a day over twenty thousand years old."

She laughed again but the joy was limited. Tears burned in her eyes. She knew she was going to die and hated it so much, but relished in it too. Ayonia was nearly one hundred thousand Earth years old and while her race aged so much slower than that of the humans, near the end it all comes crashing down. It was their biological failsafe. It ensured their kind wouldn't live for a hundred years old and brittle. Their bodies would begin to give out within the last few tiny years of their life. It almost made everything before that seem trivial, that all of it led to the moment they died, but she'd never forget.

"I have seen so many things at your side my old friend," she began. "Things I could have missed so easily, friends I never would have made, worlds saved and the like, all because of you."

The Doctor's face fell but he kept his forced smile. She did the same, but her voice quivered with the promise of tears. He wasn't saved from it either.

"Well," he said suddenly, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat to keep the frog at bay. "I've brought you a present."

"Why?" she asked with a light smile. "I've no time to enjoy it. You said yourself."

She looked again to the window and noticed the base of the sun was nearing the horizon. She had minutes at best and both knew it.

"This you'll enjoy." He told her, his smile broadening. "I promise."

"And you've always kept your promises, haven't you?"

"Well, you'd know better than me." He said matter-of-factly. "Have I broken one so far?"

"Not a single one." She smiled.

The Doctor's smile turned sweet and he held up his hand. She watched him curiously as he pressed his thumb and middle finger together. Still beaming at her, the Doctor snapped and the doors of the TARDIS flew open revealing the surprise within.

Two bodies emerged, both frighteningly familiar and brought the tears that had been wheeling in her eyes down her cheeks. Ayonia's hands came to her lips and she smiled so wide it hurt. She watched with blurry vision as the bodies came to her side of the bed and stood.

"Captain Jack Harkness," the young man to her right saluted when he came to stop beside the Doctor. "At your service, you're Majesty."

"Doctor Martha Jones." The young woman at his side bowed. "You're Highness."

She was laughing and weeping, unable to hide or control a single emotion when confronted by faces she hadn't seen in so very, very long. Jack and Martha laughed at her reaction along with the Doctor, but they could see how sad it was too. As many times as they had seen Ayonia, (having just left her at a party in fact, young and full of life) they'd never seen her old. And she lay in the bed so very, very old.

If they hadn't been told, there was little they could discern fromthe woman in the bed that would tell them they knew her. As with anyone far along in age, she bore wrinkles, her skin a bit loose and she looked so very frail. After everything they'd been through and had yet to experience and Ayonia looked like a strong breeze would take her away, that the thick blanket covering her body was more likely to crush it instead. Time was so unforgiving and it was never more obvious than at that moment.

"Oh how I've missed you," she beamed, holding out her arms and beckoning for one to fill them.

Martha was closest and hugged the woman tightly. Tears began to touch the human girl's eyes while Ayonia just continued to cry happily. She clung to her friend from the past so hard it would have hurt if she had the strength.

"It's been so long." She sighed.

Martha pulled away and Jack took her place, hugging the old monarch just as tightly, just as lovingly. When he pulled away it was obvious to everyone that emotion ran rampant. But Ayonia couldn't wipe the smile from her face.

"I haven't seen either of you in so long," she said through tears, her eyes darting from one to the other, she reached for the Doctor's hand and he let her. "Any of you in so long. And you poor things, you must think I look awful."

"You kidding?" Jack smiled. "Still beautiful."

Ayonia scoffed and shook her head.

"I'm far too old for your flattery, Jack. But thank you."

"So, this is your home?" Martha asked.

"Yes," Ayonia nodded. "And my children are right outside that door, along with the rest of my family."

"You got kids?"

"Seven."

"Wow." She smiled. "Been busy huh?"

Ayonia laughed but felt something tug at her heart. It hurt, hurt like she knew something else would. She glanced to the window and knew she'd been right. The sun was half descended. It was nearly time.

The Doctor noticed too and felt a tug at his hearts. He looked at Jack and Martha who seemed to slowly but surely understand what was coming. Jack moved first.

He reached forward and took Ayonia's spare hand in his. He kissed her knuckles and then her forehead, pausing with the action because he knew she'd be gone soon.

"Something tells me," he said pulling back and looking at her with his bright blue eyes. "We've got tons of adventures I haven't gotten to see yet."

"You've no idea." She smiled.

He stood and made his way to the foot of the bed. The door opened and a small group of giant beings like Ayonia entered the room. They stood back while Martha hugged the withered woman tightly.

"You are one of the bravest people I've ever met," Ayonia said when they parted. "And those you've met and will meet will love you more than you'll ever know."

Martha nodded, her eyes welling. She stood and made her way towards Jack, the two bordering on actual tears the longer they remained.

Ayonia was left with the Doctor. She looked at him sadly while again he forced a smile to her. They held each others hands tightly because the sun was nearly gone.

"Through all the years I've known you, the different centuries and worlds, I have grown to love you so much Doctor," her smile faded and the tears fell. "And I still don't know your name."

It was a trivial thing, but for some reason it came to her mind. She said it before she meant to and he noticed, but the Doctor only smiled. It wasn't something he told anyone. He wanted to tell her, truly he did, but he knew the power in a name, a _real_ name and couldn't give her what she seemed to want. But Ayonia knew and simply squeezed his hand a bit tighter, silently telling him it was alright for her not to know.

The Doctor did the best he could to maintain the smile, but it was fading along with Ayonia. He leaned forward and kissed her lips gently, briefly and then her forehead before pulling back. He could see through her eyes that there were years, decades or centuries to come of friendship, near death experiences and the like to come to fruition between them and the action simply seemed to be a natural reaction. Part of him wondered however, why no one had tried to attack him for touching the Monarch as he had, but also knew in the same thought that they must have experienced many things he had yet to come across in his time line that made even a kiss understandable. It made him curious.

"You were brilliant." He told her softly. "And brave and completely mad."

Ayonia laughed which forced most listening to smile. It made her giggle to herself that the Doctor of all people would call someone mad.

"And you have and will do such wonderful things, old friend. I wish you only happiness. That's all I want for you, just happiness."

He nodded as though agreeing, not knowing what she did, but trusting her wishes as any friend would.

The sun was nearly gone.

The Doctor stood and moved towards the TARDIS where Jack and Martha stood giving the family the few moments left. But no one moved. Everyone remained fixed because they could feel it too.

"I love all of you," Ayonia said to the room. "So very much."

She closed her eyes and laid back against the pillow. The sky grew darker and soon the sun was gone. The moment its light had fled, so did Ayonia's last breath.

The room fell deathly silent aside from the children. Those who bore the marks on their foreheads of the royal family cringed and grunted as though being hit. Most of them took to their knees under the weight of some unseen force.

"What's happening to them?" Martha asked curiously and worriedly.

"They just lost their mother," The Doctor said. "And it's painful. It's physically painful for them."

"That's awful." She whispered.

The Doctor said nothing, his eyes glinting pink with tears when they fell to the old friend in the bed now gone.

"And so passes Ayonia, only daughter of King Thaus and Queen Nureal, rebuilder of her people and the first queen of New Hirraya." He said sadly with a hitch in his voice.

While he spoke, the children Ayonia had mentioned stood. Martha and Jack watched with the Doctor as the eldest, the one who had five dots on his head suddenly had seven. Another in the group suddenly had five while the others kept their three. It was strange and happened on its own, but it was nothing compared to what they did afterward. They sang.

Low resonating notes of indecipherable words echoed around them and filled the room. It was beautiful and sad at the same time. It was a song of loss and remorse and the humans could tell without even having to understand.

It lasted seconds, minutes, who knew before it ended, but when it had the onlookers felt like they were getting a glimpse of the pain the children felt.

The man that had taken his jacket suddenly appeared at the Doctor's side and offered the garment back. He must have sensed it. The Doctor nodded to the servant and took his jacket, threading his arms back through it and trying to feel better within the comforting fabrics. It didn't really work.

So, without another word, the trio stepped back into their blue box and disappeared from sight.

Inside the TARDIS emotions still ran sore from watching someone they all knew well die before their eyes as such an old woman. It was heartbreaking and the only upside was they could see her again.

"Doctor," Martha said after a few minutes of silence. He glanced to her over his shoulder while he pretended to be busy. "How far into the future have we come? I mean, she looked like she hadn't seen us in decades."

"Millennia."

"I'm sorry?"

"It's been thousands of years since she's seen you, longer than you'd realize." he said, his voice dipping down as he stared into the panels in front of him. "That's the worst part."

Martha stared at him curiously, sadly. She didn't understand at first, but slowly began to the longer he went without explaining. When it finally donned on her, her heart broke again for the Doctor.

Forgetting the friends he'd seen die at his side, the multitude that must have come and gone through his centuries of life, there were also the ones like Ayonia, the ones he went to visit as they died. She'd seen it once before with the Head of Boe, the unchanging man there to watch a friend breathe their last breath, and wondered how many times he'd had to watch the rest of them fade away while he remained the same and then turn around and smile when he saw them in the correct timeline. How awful it must have been to act like nothing happened. It must have been... lonely.

**So! This is just a little one-shot. I'm in love with the Tennant Doc. Who isn't?! I miss him so much. And this kind of popped into my head after the New New York episode with the Head of Boe. It kind of made me wonder how many times the Doctor's had to watch old friends die and then act like nothing ever happened when he comes across them in the normal timeline. That has to be horrible, right? But, I hope you guys liked it. If I could ever think of a story for the actual character, I'll write a real story, but idk. For now, I like this. Let me know what you think and please, be kind. :) Enjoy!**

**Hirraya (Hear-ra-ia)**


End file.
